Originally I was going to write all about my discovery of kohlrabi while I was living in Germany many many moons ago, but then I got a call from my my kids school to come pick him up because he bit a kid. Again. Only this time my child was showing no remorse. I could actually hear him laughing on the other side of the phone.
All I could think to say was, “Mother Fucker“.
Now, before you go and say something like, well, no wonder your child is so disturbed or what kind of mother says that…aloud? Let me tell you a few things about me.
Since day one of motherhood I have always been brutally honest. I don’t know, maybe it’s because I felt like no one was honest with me, so when I became a Mom I felt completely inadequate, unprepared and out-of-place. With so much social media thrown in our face, it’s easy for people to only show the beautiful and leave out the hard stuff. Plus, I’ve learned that honesty is easier and actually quite refreshing.
So, when it was my time to be a mom and have the beautiful mom life, I felt like something was wrong with me. My child is beautiful, yes. My life is beautiful, yes. But, most the time it probably doesn’t look that way. I swear a lot, but not in front of my child. Ok, not in front of my child casually, but sometimes these things just slip out. And, I have a strangely open relationship with the staff and teachers at his school. So, it’s not like it’s the first time I’ve talked to this lady and here I am spewing out bad words. To be honest, I probably talk to the people at his school more than I talk to anyone else, because, well, #motherhood and #iworkfromhome
You guys, I am at a complete and utter loss. I don’t know what to do with my child. He knows not to bite. He knows. He is just so flipping smart and manipulative and now he knows that if he bites he will get sent home. I am terrified I am going to end up with a teenager that just doesn’t give a shit and either gets hurt or hurts somebody.
Some of you may be wondering what he is doing right now as I type this? In my attempt to punish him / get him to nap, I put him in his room with the monkey lock on his door. He is screaming,”I.WANT.TO.GO.ON.A.WALK!” I’ve taken away TV time, all of his gardener toys and sticks and his precious bib.
Sometimes I wish these kids would just bite him back…
Anyway, kohlrabi. I LOVE kohlrabi. It’s one of my favorite veggies to eat raw. It’s crisp and crunchy and a little spicy. It actually remind me of radish. This salad is a prefect blend of earthy sweet (beets), sweet sweet (apple), spicy (kohlrabi), fresh (parsley), refreshing (citrus) and salty (feta). It’s totally vegetarian and SUPER healthy!
To make it vegan and dairy free simply omit the feta 🙂
- 1 medium to large kohlrabi peeled and finely shredded
- 2 small to medium raw beets peeled an finely shredded
- 1 large apple cored and cut into thin matchsticks (I had a Fiji apple on hand, but suggest using a Pink Lady apple or similar)
- 2 tablespoons parsley minced
- 2 green onions chopped
- 1 orange juiced
- 1 orange zested
- 1 lime juiced
- 1 tablespoon olive oil
- salt + pepper to taste
- 1/4 cup toasted sunflower seeds
- Feta Cheese omit for vegan/dairy-free
Place the shredded kohlrabi, shredded beets, chopped apple, parsley, and green onion in a large salad bowl. In a separate, smaller bowl, whisk together the orange zest, the orange and lime juice, olive oil and salt + pepper. Gently drizzle citrus dressing over the salad and toss to mix.
Sprinkle the salad with toasted sunflower seeds and crumbled feta cheese (if desired).